I’ve always been one to express my love through cooking. If you leave my house hungry, it’s your own darn fault. When I was younger, I read cook books like some people read romance novels. Then, with the internet, recipe searching on line became my way of doing things. Now, I find myself recording and watching current and older episodes of Chopped. I love that show. A box of mystery ingredients and a set time to figure it out. Each competitor gives a reason for why they are there. What struck me is that a percentage are there to prove to others they made the right decision when they chose to become a chef.
Often at least one of the four competitors is on the show to prove to the world, parents, family, or some “other” that they can cook and have made a wise life choice to be in the kitchen. I was struck by this today when I was watching a recording.
Why is it that we seek endorsement by others? All. The. Time. Ok, maybe YOU don’t but a great majority of our culture does. Why else would we have a cultural norm to “keep up with the Joneses” Because keeping up is a way of validating who we are and confirming that we are ok and it allows us to perpetuate a cycle of being endorsed by others. Round and round we go collecting okays from all but the most important person; ourselves.
I know I’m also wrapped up in this. My ego is stroked by others and acknowledgement from others. But it’s a short lived high. And it IS like a high because it dissipates and I need another hit- another accolade- another compliment. There are things that I do and I know I do well and I can compliment myself and be clear in my knowing. It’s in this knowing that I find peace. It’s in this knowing that I don’t need others to compliment or laud me. I wish to find myself in this state of knowing, more, however.
I’m currently working on building my Reiki business alongside a well established 22 year business as a Pampered Chef consultant, leader and trainer. I find myself challenged by the lack of “knowing” how this looks. There is also this “proving” thing rearing its head. I can feel it which is why I believe I was struck again today by the contestant’s comment about needing to prove himself. It’s not that I need to prove I can do Reiki. It’s more that I need to prove I can build a business with it. I can’t yet picture how this will go. I know the fog will lift when it’s time.