Proving It

I’ve always been one to express my love through cooking. If you leave my house hungry, it’s your own darn fault.  When I was younger, I read cook books like some people read romance novels.  Then, with the internet, recipe searching on line became my way of doing things.  Now, I find myself recording and watching current and older episodes of Chopped.  I love that show.  A box of mystery ingredients and a set time to figure it out.  Each competitor gives a reason for why they are there.  What struck me is that a percentage are there to prove to others they made the right decision when they chose to become a chef.

love cooking

Often at least one of the four competitors is on the show to prove to the world, parents, family, or some “other” that they can cook and have made a wise life choice to be in the kitchen.  I was struck by this today when I was watching a recording.

Why is it that we seek endorsement by others? All. The. Time.  Ok, maybe YOU don’t but a great majority of our culture does.  Why else would we have a cultural norm to “keep up with the Joneses” Because keeping up is a way of validating who we are and confirming that we are ok and it allows us to perpetuate a cycle of being endorsed by others.  Round and round we go collecting okays from all but the most important person; ourselves.

I know I’m also wrapped up in this.  My ego is stroked by others and acknowledgement from others.  But it’s a short lived high.  And it IS like a high because it dissipates and I need another hit- another accolade- another compliment. There are things that I do and I know I do well and I can compliment myself and be clear in my knowing.  It’s in this knowing that I find peace. It’s in this knowing that I don’t need others to compliment or laud me. I wish to find myself in this state of knowing, more, however.

I’m currently working on building my Reiki business alongside a well established 22 year business as a Pampered Chef consultant, leader and trainer.  I find myself challenged by the lack of “knowing” how this looks.  There is also this “proving” thing rearing its head.  I can feel it which is why I believe I was struck again today by the contestant’s comment about needing to prove himself.  It’s not that I need to prove I can do Reiki. It’s more that I need to prove I can build a business with it.  I can’t yet picture how this will go.  I know the fog will lift when it’s time.

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