I’m not sure if I’ve written it here but I have a cat who is my mirror. I know as I get healthier she gets healthier. What do I mean by that? Well, for the first 5 years of her life, she spent most of it hiding. In fact, unless I told you Zara existed, you wouldn’t know. No one (with the exception of my niece) has ever seen her. About two years ago I realized that she mirrored me and spent most of her life hidden away. Recently, I found that there are other similarities as well.
A couple of weeks ago, I was in the living room with Zara. I don’t remember what startled her or made her uncomfortable but she went running to her food dish. I cocked my head in one of those pondering moments and thought “Did she really just emotionally eat for comfort?”. Sure enough, I’ve seen her do it other times. The ironic part is that after I realized why she was doing it, I find myself gently calling out to her “Zara, baby, you don’t have to eat if you are upset.” I do believe I’m talking to myself and it’s one of the ways the universe allows me to gently remind myself that there are other ways for self care.
There was a time when I’d walk into a room and she would scurry under the bed. Then I got excited when she would stay on the bed when I came in the room but she’d jump off if I sat on the bed. Now I can actually sit on the bed and put on my socks and she stays. Not only does she stay but she will allow herself to have her back to me. I often feel honored by the trust she now allows me. Holy crap. There it goes again. Sometimes I just don’t know where I’m going with what I write until it leaves my fingertips. An affirmation just came to me. “I am present and honored by the trust I place in myself.”
In watching Zara, I can see how I’m progressing. Oh the gentle but powerful opportunity to be present to the trust I place in myself and the ways in which I’ve grown in that arena.