When I first started this blog, I openly shared it because I knew this journey was not just about me. I’ve found that there are so many people out there with food addiction and it’s (in my opinion) a harder addiction than most for many reasons. First we are a society based on food. When we are young and parents want to console us or bribe us, they use food. TV is filled with ads. Social events are filled with food and mostly, we have to eat to survive.
I took a hiatus from the blog when I started spinning out of control myself, again. When I started my blog, I’d mentioned that I didn’t feel weight loss surgery was part of my journey. In that time away, I decided that the lap band surgery was the right choice for me because it was a tool that would allow me to move along in this journey. When I’d stopped writing, people stopped reading- of course. Since I’ve been back, there’s no one reading because I’ve been hiding this blog by not sharing that I’m writing it.
I was talking with a friend and getting some coaching on this last night and I said “I don’t know if I want people to know I’ve had the surgery”. When he asked why, I realized, again, that I’ve been hiding. For years, I thought the surgery was a cop out. In my mind, if I shared what I did with people, they might think I copped out. In my sharing with him, I reconnected with the reason for starting this blog- to make a difference. By not sharing this, I’m not making the difference I wanted to make. It made the decision pretty easy.
So, with breath held, I post this and then I will head to Facebook and let my friends in on “the secret”. HA! Isn’t that what compulsion is all about- a secret? That’s funny.