One of my concerns with this new way of life, is going out in social settings. In my past, I could hide behind a drink or food so that I didn’t have to be fully present. It was my comfort- my shield. In addition, I just liked to eat.
Last night I was at a social event that had vendors with tables of their samples. Some of which were food and beverages. I’m still in my protein drink and clear liquid phase so I was not able to partake in it. I went knowing this was going to be an opportunity to see how it was for me.
At first, I was uncomfortable. There were things I wanted to sample and taste and all these women around me were eating and talking and laughing. I got my water and walked around to check it all out and talk to the vendors that I knew. I actually found myself enjoying the interactions because I didn’t have food in my hands that got in the way of giving and getting hugs from those I knew. I wound my way to a card table to learn how to play Texas Hold ‘Em with fake money. I’d never played before and I focused on learning and enjoying the company of those around me. I realized that had I not been doing that, I would have been eating. I would have been eating and berating myself for eating. I would have been eating and not being with people. In the midst of learning this game, came the “ah ha” and the kudos. I was just so darn proud of myself for having a great time when it didn’t include food.
It’s a new world, a new experience. I know some people don’t revolve life around food. I’m getting to experience this a bit and I’m liking it so far. I also know I’m still in a honeymoon period. However, I’ll take what learning experiences I can get.